Going Nowhere

Always mobile, don’t sit around, don’t watch TV, don‘t waste 2 hours on a movie. Mind moves with books, writing, playing music. Body moves, running, lifting, biking. At work, pull and shove. Structure the day around movement, going- mental and physical. Bound to nothing, mind and body are free, and complement each other. Movement can solve any problem, work can help figure things out. Sweat it out, get moving, Don’t stop, don’t want to.
Then I have to. I’m cut, and cut from the easy answer of movement. It could solve all my problems, now it is gone. No moving, that will only make it worse. But my mind is cloudy and racing- it won’t stop. How do I tell it to stop, how do I control it, release it? I chose not to do it this way, I chose my way. But now my mind needs my body to solve the problem and it isn’t getting any help. I’m pinned to my bed, to my chair. My body gets weaker because it can’t move. My energy, the energy I created, has nowhere to go, it can’t be released. No sweating, no moving. I’m going nowhere. And it stays, has nowhere to go. It goes to my head.